Amara was dressed in her finest dress today and she also had fixed her hair properly and had a single rose attached near her ear. She was just reading a poem when she saw Chidi running towards her with a big smile on his face. She wondered what it was that made him look so happy this afternoon. A part of her mind hoped that his father had been able to provide a means for him to go to Lagos. “I was just coming to your…Ah ah what is all this lovely dressing today. You are looking extra special oh.” Chidi said looking at her. “How come you are not at home? I was just about coming to your house,” He asked. “Eh I just wanted to sit by the road. I like the weather today it feels so positive. Do you want one of my flowers?” She gave him a flower and then he fixed it by his ear and pounced round like a girl. They both laughed but Amara’s voice was louder. “So what is it that is making you so happy this afternoon?” she asked. “Eh you will not believe it. I am going to Onitsha next week Sunday. Brother John says he will sponsor my education and in return I will help him run his shop. Nnem you don’t know how happy I am feeling and I thought I should share my joy with you.” Amara was shocked. “This Sunday? Why so soon?” She looked at Chidi. Shocked but her heart melted because he looked so happy. “At least he will be able to leave this village,” she thought. “I am going to miss you oh. Don’t forget me when you get to Onitsha” She gave him a hug that lasted for about a minute. She wanted to kiss him but she felt that it wasn’t right. Plus he didn’t make a move, which meant he didn’t want to kiss her. Her eyes were burning with tears. “Ah see this big girl crying I haven’t gone yet” he joked. She was going to miss his jokes but then like he said he wasn’t gone yet. “Do you want to get some biscuits? I feel like taking something sweet. I’ll buy you one even though you haven’t bought any for me you stingy boy.” They both went to the market. During the journey they didn’t say much to each other. Amara felt like she was crying on the inside. She didn’t want him to know how sad she felt about him leaving. She also felt like him leaving meant that they might never see each other again. She was going to Lagos and didn’t have any plans of coming back to the village. Although she couldn’t bear the thought of not being with him again she also understood that she needed to make a future for herself. Somewhere away from the village. Away from the smirk looks she got from the girls in her school. She also felt a hope. Her mother always said to her “If 2 people are destined to be together then they will meet again one day if they are ever separated.”
They were at the stream. Chidi putting the biscuit crumbs all over his hair and acting as if he had dandruff much to Amara’s amusement. “You know something Amara?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer the question “I will miss you so much you don’t know. Its times like this I haven’t shared with anyone. I love you Amara from the bottom of my heart. I really do.” He stopped as if he expected her to say something back but she kept quiet. “Please say something. Anything. Amara” She just looked at him in shock. She wanted to say so much but she didn’t know where to start. “Chidi I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow” She quickly got up and ran off. She could hear him calling her to come back wand she wanted to but she was scared. She was scared of her feelings for him. She kept saying in her head “Forgive me Chidi, Forgive me”. She ran till his voice calling her name constantly faded away. When she was sure she was far from him all she felt strange. She wanted to cry but she couldn’t. How was she going to ever face him again? Lots of questions went round her head as if it were a merry-go –round. “I have to go back to him. What have I done? I mean I love him, or do I? I do. Oh God please let him still be there?” She ran back to the stream. She could see his shadow from a distance. The more she saw him the faster she ran towards him. He just stood there with a look of extreme shock in his face. She threw her hands round him and kissed his neck but he didn’t respond. “Amara?” That was all he said. He stepped back and walked away.
In a state of total awe and shock, Amara couldn’t decide what to do. Her emotions were in a mess. She had just missed the one true chance to admit her feelings to Chidi but she was secretly pleased in her heart that Chidi loved her. She would see him tomorrow. She had to; it was a chance for her to let her feelings out at least before he left the village. She went home.
She stared out the window in her room as she prepared to lie in bed. She try to recreate what had happened earlier on in the evening only that she reacted differently. She admitted she loved him and kissed him. They went swimming together in the ocean and she let the waves in the water run through her newly relaxed hair. They hugged and kissed by the moonlight and told each other how much they cared about each other.
But she was dreaming. It wasn’t real, just a fiction in her imagination. As she lay in her bed, all she could think about was Chidi, what he said to her and the way she felt that moment. She wanted to be with him but she knew that the boundaries of society would not permit it. She wished he could go to Lagos rather than Onitsha, she felt that Lagos was more modern than Ukigwe but she didn’t want to seem selfish. She blanked the thought out of her head.
Closing her eyes she tried to re enact the events of that evening but it was all in vein, all she saw when she shut her eyes was the darkness of her eyelids. “Is he thinking of me? Does he hate me? Oh God please don’t let him hate me?” She was crying but in a soft way almost as if she cried out all of her feelings. Drowsed and tired of her own tears she fell asleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment