Chidi sat looking into the stars. He felt really stupid and rejected. He wondered why he even said anything to Amara. “Just look out how she ran away eh as if I was going to bite her. I shouldn’t have wasted my time. Oh my god, eh what is this? What is all this? Ah!” He thought to himself what life would be like if only Amara had said she loved him back. He could imagine them leaving the village, getting married, having kids and just being happy not caring about what people thought or said. He felt let down, betrayed by the girl he loved so dearly. He wanted to cry but he couldn’t every time he felt a tear he quickly thought about Onitsha, maybe Amara wasn’t right for him. Maybe they were just supposed to be friends and nothing more, maybe he would meet someone better than her, but he couldn’t think of anyone who could ever even be an inch better.
“Why did she run? Have I scared her or was I too forward? Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I hope I haven’t hurt her. I shouldn’t have walked away. I should have just stayed and talked things over with her. I hope I can sort this by tomorrow, I can’t lose her, not now not ever!” He lay down watching the stars, he wished he didn’t walk away, maybe she would have admitted to being in love with her. Maybe she loved him but was scared of what the villager would say. “She shouldn’t be. No one would have to know” He felt like just going to her house to talk to her. To hold her at least see her. He felt sick, wanted to throw up but he was scared his heart would come out if he did. For once in his life Chidi felt like a little child and all he wanted was a comforting hug from someone who cared and understood how he felt. The weather temperature deteriorated and he got up dusted his behind and started home.
“Where have you been eh? I thought you had run away with that girl” His brother joked. Chidi didn’t want to tell Amadi about what had happened that night. He knew that Amadi wouldn’t hesitate to insult Amara. “I was just with Okoye and Ukeje. I’m very tired I think I’ll just go to sleep” He walked away quickly even though he could see that Amadi wanted to say something back. His brother sensed his heavy heart and he knew it.
In his room he took of his shirt and lay on his mat. It was one of those evening when the mosquitoes decided to feed on the blood of as many people that didn’t have nets as possible.
His night was preoccupied with so much thoughts of Amara that he sometimes forgot to hit the mosquitoes that perched on his torso from time to time. “I won’t even talk about it to her again. I just look forward to Onitsha and what is has to offer me”. In his heart he was hoping that Amara would just apologize for her reaction to him earlier that evening. Then he would forgive her and maybe they could even have a future together. If she didn’t then when he went to Onitsha he would forget her. Completely.
It was Monday morning. Chidi had spent the weekend studying hard for his first exam today. Mathematics was his favourite subject. He sometimes joked that every Igbo person was a master of mathematics in his or her own way. He hadn’t seen Amara since their little encounter and he knew he might not see her today. She was probably worried about her own exams as she wasn’t very good at maths. He had helped her study for time to time and hoped she would at least be able to get a C grade or her parents would be very disappointed.
He put on his white shirt, his pens were neatly arranged at the pocket and his trouser was ironed with two sharp lines in the front. He called them “gatos”. He didn’t need to carry any books to school as it was against the school rules to have books in school during the exam. He combed his hair and brushed his little beard that was appearing under his chin. These were his final exams and he remembered how his mother had gotten him ready on his first day in secondary school. Now his was a young man about to leave the village for a new life in the big city, but first he had to get his exams done. His shoes were polished and he made sure he had a pair of socks he had washed for this day on. He would look his best.
He stepped out of the house and headed for school. “Chidi! Chidi! Bros stop now abi is it not the same exam that we are going to write today? Chai! You are looking so fresh today oh!” Ukeje forever looking scruffy complimented Chidi. “Have you revised?” Ukeje asked with a look in his eye as if he hoped that Chidi didn’t revise. “Trust now! Bros I don’t mess with my maths oh talk less of my education. You look like you didn’t revise. Ah! You didn’t. Your mother will kill you this boy!” Chidi laughed. He was tired of always begging Ukeje to study. Ukeje was lucky anyway because even if he studied or not, his brother Jonah was going to take him to London after their SSCE’s to do a course in Business. “Oh boy! I don’t care by this time next year I am going to be a London Boy!” Ukeje joked and raised his collar up.
“Chidi!” Chidi heard someone call his name. He knew it was Amara but he didn’t want his mind weighed down by her. He wanted to just go into his exam hall and write his paper. He quickly moved into a group of students and saw her walk up to a group of girls she hung around with. The bell rang. Time for everyone to go in and do their best to pass. Chidi felt a rush through him. Almost like a spark of electricity. He went into the hall and took his seat. Looking round he saw some people praying. “Heaven helps those who help themselves. Like if God is going to come down and help you now” He joked to himself.
The bell rang again. The invigilator came in “It is now 9.00 AM, your paper ends at 10.30 AM. You can begin writing. Good Luck”.
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